ACCEPT UNCERTAINTY AND WELCOME LIFE WITH OPEN ARMS!

“THE QUEST FOR CERTAINTY BLOCKS THE SEARCH FOR MEANING. UNCERTAINTY IS THE VERY CONDITION TO IMPEL MAN TO UNFOLD ITS POWER.” – ERICH FROMM

Life is full of uncertainties and most of the times it would bring up what we never plan for. It happened with me as well. I have recently started feeling as though I am standing at the crossroads in my life and have been feeling quite restless and uncomfortable.

I love my work, working with clients, helping them and it makes me very happy. At the same time, I’m also a mother to a three year old child and although it is the most wonderful thing that can happen to a woman, it has its own challenges and demands. As a result, I spend more time at home with her and work less.

If you would have asked me a few years back, I was certain that I will never be a stay-at –home-mum. But, today, the situation demands something else from me, being an army officer’s wife everything is so uncertain and I do not know what will be my next step and what will I do. There is so much uncertainty and turbulence in my life at this moment and it's not easy to decide between the major choices of my life, i.e., whether I should choose my work or be with my child or start my dental practice and so on and so forth.

My response to this was to obsess endlessly till I find an answer. However, I realized that all my efforts to understand and know the situation actually blocked me from the truth rather than revealing it to me. The uncertainty makes a person feel vulnerable and as a result, we try to escape from the situation in any possible way. I was also not immune to it!

The most common mistake

We try to see the future and become fortune tellers, making ourselves crazy. Our minds spin through the same scenarios that we can imagine and keep on doing it over and over again and fail to come to any resolution.

However, one needs to understand that are our future is greatly determined by our actions that we take in the most uncertain situations. We succeed when we embrace the uncertainty. Without these uncertain times, we might never push ourselves beyond our comfort zones.

A lot of people have experienced staying in unhealthy relationships or in an unsatisfying job because the uncertainty of leaving the situation created a lot of anxiety and stress and we remain stuck in unhappy situations. There is no assurance of success when we move into the unknown territory. Many people never chase their true passions, as it seems impractical or there is a lot of fear associated with that step. However, we fail to realize that it is in these moments of uncertainty and discomfort that we encounter life’s most important and amazing adventures.

What needs to be done?

Accepting uncertainty and making peace with it needs courage, trust and faith. We need to believe that no matter what happens, we will be taken care of, we will find a way through and it’s okay not to have answers to all the questions.

Once we stop controlling, accept the situation and release all the resistance, it makes our lives happy and free. We can consider the possibility of a power constantly at work that is greater than us and it is absolutely okay to leave the reigns. There are many circumstances that are far beyond our control and they are impacting our lives by deciding our future. Fixing the problems sometimes makes us blind to the possibilities.

We cannot embrace our uncertain future if we keep on thinking how it should be. A constant noise in the head drowns out our intuition and our heart’s voice. Once we accept the uncertainty and let go the resistance, the noise in the mind subsides and we get in contact with our intuition.

For me, meditation is an incredible way to facilitate this contact. Sitting quietly and being aware of my mind has helped me to find some peace and stability as well as listen to my heart. I try to be aware of my thoughts and those fearful talks that take place in my mind. Practicing awareness has quieted my head to a great extent and I’m more open to the new possibilities and welcome whatever life has to offer.